NOTE: These visual resources accompany the recording of the workshop.

You can listen to the podcast (in two parts) at:

www.mountcross.com/hearthead1.mp3

and

www.mountcross.com/hearthead2.mp3

The Stephen Ministry of Mount Cross Lutheran Church

Camarillo, California

presents

Talk from your heart

but plan with your head.

A discussion workshop on preparing for the “late innings.”

OPENING PRAYER

Evangelical Lutheran Worship, page 82

EXERCISE

Jacob’s Advance Directives

Genesis 47:²⁹ When the time of Israel's death drew near, he called his son Joseph and said to him, "If I have found favor with you, put your hand under my thigh and promise to deal loyally and truly with me. Do not bury me in Egypt. ³⁰ When I lie down with my ancestors, carry me out of Egypt and bury me in their burial place." He answered, "I will do as you have said." ³¹ And he said, "Swear to me"; and he swore to him. Then Israel bowed himself on the head of his bed. Genesis 49:²⁸ All these are the twelve tribes of Israel, and this is what their father said to them when he blessed them, blessing each one of them with a suitable blessing. Then he charged them, saying to them, "I am about to be gathered to my people. Bury me with my ancestors -- in the cave in the field of Ephron the Hittite, ³⁰ in the cave in the field at Machpelah, near Mamre, in the land of Canaan, in the field that Abraham bought from Ephron the Hittite as a burial site. ³¹ There Abraham and his wife Sarah were buried; there Isaac and his wife Rebekah were buried; and there I buried Leah -- ³² the field and the cave that is in it were purchased from the Hittites." ³³ When Jacob ended his charge to his sons, he drew up his feet into the bed, breathed his last, and was gathered to his people. Genesis 50:⁴ When the days of weeping for him were past, Joseph addressed the household of Pharaoh, "If now I have found favor with you, please speak to Pharaoh as follows: ⁵ My father made me swear an oath; he said, 'I am about to die. In the tomb that I hewed out for myself in the land of Canaan, there you shall bury me.' Now therefore let me go up, so that I may bury my father; then I will return." ⁶ Pharaoh answered, "Go up, and bury your father, as he made you swear to do." ⁷ So Joseph went up to bury his father. With him went up all the servants of Pharaoh, the elders of his household, and all the elders of the land of Egypt, ⁸ as well as all the household of Joseph, his brothers, and his father's household. Only their children, their flocks, and their herds were left in the land of Goshen. ⁹ Both chariots and charioteers went up with him. It was a very great company. ¹⁰ When they came to the threshing floor of Atad, which is beyond the Jordan, they held there a very great and sorrowful lamentation; and he observed a time of mourning for his father seven days. ¹¹ When the Canaanite inhabitants of the land saw the mourning on the threshing floor of Atad, they said, "This is a grievous mourning on the part of the Egyptians." Therefore the place was named Abel-mizraim;¹ it is beyond the Jordan. ¹² Thus his sons did for him as he had instructed them. ¹³ They carried him to the land of Canaan and buried him in the cave of the field at Machpelah, the field near Mamre, which Abraham bought as a burial site from Ephron the Hittite. ¹⁴ After he had buried his father, Joseph returned to Egypt with his brothers and all who had gone up with him to bury his father.

Joseph’s Advance Directives

Genesis 50:²² So Joseph remained in Egypt, he and his father's household; and Joseph lived one hundred ten years. ²³ Joseph saw Ephraim's children of the third generation; the children of Machir son of Manasseh were also born on Joseph's knees. ²⁴ Then Joseph said to his brothers, "I am about to die; but God will surely come to you, and bring you up out of this land to the land that he swore to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob." ²⁵ So Joseph made the Israelites swear, saying, "When God comes to you, you shall carry up my bones from here." ²⁶ And Joseph died, being one hundred ten years old; he was embalmed and placed in a coffin in Egypt. Exodus 13:¹⁹ And Moses took with him the bones of Joseph who had required a solemn oath of the Israelites, saying, "God will surely take notice of you, and then you must carry my bones with you from here." Hebrews 11:²² By faith Joseph, at the end of his life, made mention of the exodus of the Israelites and gave instructions about his burial.

A PARTIAL TO-DO LIST FOR THE “LATE INNINGS”

___rank__ @home = If you plan to stay in your home, do you know how you will arrange and pay for in-home care?

___rank__ @the end = Have you had conversations about end of life issues and made appropriate decisions

(see also Directives)

___rank__ Attorney = Does someone have Power of Attorney for your affairs? Is someone on your bank accounts in case you are unable to get money out to meet expenses?

___rank__ Bills = If married, do both of you know how and when the bills are paid? Are there automatic payments coming out of an account. Are there direct deposits being made. Do both of you know the dates for all of the above?

___rank__ Cemetery = Have you made cemetery arrangements. Pre-arranged? Pre-paid? Burial or cremation?

See: Burial or Cremation (http://www.elca.org/growing-in-faith/worship/learning-center/faqs/organ-donation-cremation.aspx)

___rank__ Copies = Do important people in your life (like your children) have copies of your necessary Important papers?

___rank__ Denial = Can you engage in real dialogue (vs. denial) about these matters? Can you talk from your heart about the many feelings these topics evoke? Can you also decide to not to make your plans based solely on emotions? Can you decide to not make plans by deciding not to make plans? Can you plan from your head? People of faith should be able to talk about end of life matters with confidence. Let your faith trump your fears. This is where a Stephen Minister can come in handy.

___rank__ Directives = Do you have a durable power of attorney for health care or other advance directives?

(see also @the end)

___rank__ Funeral = Have you made memorial service plans. You can fill out a worksheet and leave it in your personal file in the church office. Leave a copy with family, too. (See Copies) See: www.mountcross.com/funeral.htm

___rank__ Long Term Care = Have you purchased long term care insurance? Should you have some? When should you start buying? What kind of care do you want to pay for? Be sure to read the fine print – they are not all created equal. Some require that the care be medially based, that is, supervised by an MD or an RN, else they will not pay or reimburse. Ditto for some RCFE.

___rank__ Means = Are you now living within your means so that later on your lifestyle does not come back to bite you?

___rank__ Money = Do you know what your sources of income will be if a spouse dies?

___rank__ Mortuary = Have you made mortuary arrangements? Have you selected the mortuary who will handle your care? Pre-arranged? Pre-paid? Who knows where this information is. Obituary.

___rank__ not @home = If you do not plan to stay in your home (or are not able to), do you know the different care facilities available.

___rank__ Numbers = Phone numbers for people who should be notified when a death occurs: your attorney, Social Security, pension plan, etc. Also, a list of friends and relatives who should be notified (address, phone, email).

___rank__ Papers = Are all of your Important papers in one place? Does someone know where that place is?

Especially if there has been a recent move.

___rank__ Passwords = Does more than one person know the passwords to your computers, your bank or other accounts, etc?

___rank__ POLST = Have you arranged to have a pink Physician Orders for Life-Sustaining Treatment card available at your bedside or on your refrigerator?

___rank__ Premiums = Is someone checking to make sure premiums are being paid on time?

___rank__ Unload = The older you get, the lighter your load should be. Clean out the closets, the garage. If you haven’t touched it in 10 years, do you really need it anymore? (Make a photo album of treasures, then pitch the treasures).

___rank__ Will = Have you made out your will (or living trust or other financial instruments)? At what age should you do this?

DISCUSSION & COMMENTS.

Which should be first and why?

What are your experiences?

Your fears?

Your needs for more information?

SOME RESOURCES

Mount Cross Lutheran Church (www.mountcross.com)

Evangelical Lutheran Church in America (www.elca.org)

Camarillo Health Care District (www.camhealth.com)

Livingston Visiting Nurse Association & Hospice (www.lmvna.org)

Camarillo Hospice (www.camarillohospice.org)

War Era Veterans (www.wareravet.com)

Mount Cross Endowment Committee

The Ventura County Blue Book (www.icfs.org/211ventura.org)

CLOSING PRAYER