Planning For A
Funeral
Here you will find
some of the questions that your pastors will likely be asking
as plans are made for
a funeral or a memorial service.
This booklet does not have very much information about mortuary or
cemetery services.
MORTUARY SERVICES
In Camarillo there are three mortuaries who can assist families in time
of need:
Conejo Mountain Memorial Park
2052 Howard Road
Camarillo, CA 93012
Phone: 805-482-1959
Email: wecare@conejomountain.com
Griffin Family Funeral Chapels
1075 E. Daily Drive
Camarillo, CA 93010
Phone: 805-482-1166
Email: info@griffinfamilyfuneral.com
Web: www.griffinfamilyfuneral.com
Perez Family Funeral Home
1347 Del Norte Road
Camarillo, CA 93010
Phone: 805-983-3457
Email: PerezFamily1913@me.com
Web: www.memorialsolutions.com/sitemaker/sites/rosepe0
CEMETERY
The only cemetery in Camarillo is located at Conejo Mountain Memorial
Park (see above). But even if you make
plans for burial at Conejo Mountain Memorial Park, any mortuary can assist with
the other arrangements you may need to make.
They can also assist you with arrangements for a burial at another
cemetery. Your pastors can also assist
you if you prefer to make arrangements with other service providers (Neptune
Society, etc.).
A. PRELIMINARY QUESTIONS
1. What is the name of the
person for whom we will be holding the service: __________.
2. Their date of birth:
__________.
3. Their date of death:
__________.
(More questions about the person’s life are asked below.)
4. Who is the person making the
arrangements who can be contacted if there are questions?
Name:
Relationship:
Phone:
E-mail:
5. What are your wishes
for the service location and the kinds of services and their order. There are many possible choices:
a. Location for
the funeral or memorial service (Most people seem to expect that a funeral
is a service where the casket or urn is present; a memorial service is a
service where there are no remains present.
The content of the service, however, is essentially the same):
Church, cemetery or mortuary chapel, cemetery graveside, other location.
b. Kinds of
services and their order:
·
Funeral in the church (or chapel) with the casket; burial following in
the cemetery.
·
Graveside burial service at the cemetery; memorial service following in
the church (or chapel).
·
Memorial service in the church (or chapel) with the placement of
cremated remains to follow in the cemetery.
·
Placement of cremated remains in the cemetery followed by a memorial
service in the church (or chapel).
6. In the case of a cremation,
will there be special arrangements for scattering of remains? Please be aware that state or local laws may restrict where cremated remains
may be scattered. See http://www.cfb.ca.gov/consumer/funeral.shtml#cremation
7. Date of the funeral or
memorial service: _________________
8. Time of service __________
(NOTE: If the service is at
Mount Cross, we try to arrange for the service to be at 4:00 PM or later,
Monday through Thursday, or 1:00 p.m. or later on Friday because of limited
restrooms. State law prohibits adults
from sharing the bathrooms being used by our preschool children.)
9. Will there be a
reception? If yes, where? If the reception will be at the church, the
pastor or someone from Helping Hands will make contact to discuss the
kind of reception desired (meal, dessert, etc.)
B. QUESTIONS ABOUT THE SERVICE
AT THE CHURCH OR CHAPEL.
With your help the will put together a meaningful
funeral or memorial service, using the information you provide:
10. The Book of Life (in other
places this is called the eulogy). Will
this be a part of the service? If yes, who will be speaking. Do you wish to have the pastor invite anyone
present to speak?
11. What passages from the Bible
do you want to be read during the service:
12. Are there special hymns that
you would like to be sung?
13. Would you like a special
musical offering?
14. We often prepare a worship
folder for services in the church. The
pastor will show you the choices we keep in stock for you to choose from.
15. Will pallbearers be needed
for the service? Names?
16. Will a guest book be
provided by the mortuary or cemetery?
C. QUESTIONS ABOUT THE PERSON
17. Will there be an obituary
appearing in the paper? Will it include
a photo? If no, do you want a photo to
be included in the worship folder we prepare?
18. Where were they born:
19. Where did they die:
20. Was the person
baptized? In what church tradition?
21. Was the person married? The year?
22. Was the person a veteran?
Branch of service? Will there be military
honors at the church or cemetery?
23. Who are the survivors to be
named in the service?
24. What was the person’s
occupation?
25. What were the person’s
hobbies/other interests:
26. Other personal information
(special honors or accomplishments, memberships in organizations, etc.).
D. COSTS
27. There is no cost to use
the church facilities and there is no set honorarium charged by the pastors.
28. If an organist plays for the
service, the expected honorarium is $125.00.
29. If a soloist sings for the
service, the honorarium should be in the range of $50.00 for one song, $75.00
for two. Be sure to honor additional
work that may be required to prepare for the service and extra work, for
example, serving as own accompanist.
30. If Helping Hands
arranges a reception following the service, the family is invited to make a
donation to help cover costs. As a
guide, if 100 people attend, consider a donation of $100.00.
E. HELPING HANDS
31. Helping Hands is the Mount Cross
service group that assists the pastors and the congregation by arranging and
serving receptions when funerals or memorial services are held at the
church. Someone from Helping Hands will
contact the family as plans begin to be made for the reception at Mount
Cross. They sometimes also assist by
greeting those who have come to the service and attending to some of the details
inside the sanctuary, such as the arrangement of flowers. As noted above, a donation to cover costs for
the reception is appreciated.
F. FLOWERS
32. When the service in the
church will include the casket, it will be covered with a large white cover
(called the pall) which is emblazoned with a cross. This white covering echoes the white
baptismal garment that may have been worn or given at baptism. It reminds us that we are wrapped up in the
righteousness of Christ and for that reason only are we fit for heaven. If flowers to cover the casket have been
purchased, they will be placed on a nearby table during the service in the
church. If an American flag is to drape
the casket, it will be removed when the casket enters the church and replaced
when the casket leaves the church.
33. When flowers are delivered
for a memorial service, the director from the mortuary or a member of Helping
Hands will arrange them so that they look nice and do not block lines of
sight in the sanctuary. The family
should look over the arrangement of the flowers and indicate whether any should
be moved to a more prominent location.
34. If at all possible, please make
arrangements to take the flowers to the cemetery, to the reception or to the
home or homes of family. We will not
usually display the flowers from a memorial service in the front of the
sanctuary on a Sunday morning. The altar
flowers for Sunday services are usually smaller arrangements and it would not
be appropriate to overpower them.
35. If the flowers need to be
left at the church, we will do our best to break them down into smaller
arrangements and distribute them to hospitals, schools, nursing homes, etc., so
they do not go to waste.
G. MEMORIAL GIFTS
36. When a church member dies,
we usually send an announcement of their passing, including date and time for
the services. You may wish to have us
include the request: “In lieu of flowers, memorial gifts may be made
to…” Please feel free to indicate
your church or community service agencies (hospice, for example) as recipient
of these gifts.
37. When memorial gifts are
received by the church in the name of the one who has died, one of the pastors
or the memorials committee will discuss the use of the funds with the
family. Possible uses for memorial funds
include:
Gifts to the Mount Cross Endowment Fund. One of the nice things about these gifts is
that the principal is never used up; it joins with other gifts to generate
interest income that is used for special ministries and projects.
Gifts to purchase special needed items for the sanctuary or the church.
Gifts to further certain ministries or activities (for example,
scholarships for camp or preschool).
H. AT THE CEMETERY
38. Many times families want to
remain at the gravesite or the place of interment until the casket has been
lowered into the ground and perhaps even covered with earth, or until the urn
is placed and its niche closed. In
almost every case the directors at the cemetery will accommodate your
wishes.
39. Most families are probably unprepared, however, for how these
tasks are actually accomplished. In
every case those who work to place
caskets or urns in their final resting place will be khaki clad
groundskeepers. When a grave is filled
in after a service has concluded, shovels
are not used; it is a noisy backhoe that does the work. In the case of the placement of a casket in a
mausoleum or an urn in a niche, the
worker has to apply a seal from a caulking gun. In short, the work that has to be done may
not be as spiritual or reverent as one might have
hoped. For some this industrial
and very down-to-earth activity is helpful for closure, but that may not be
true for all.
Please call or email the church office or one of the pastors if you
have any questions.
- - - - -
Mount Cross Lutheran Church
Pastor John W. Soyster
— pastorjohn@mountcross.com
Pastor Erik Goehner — erik@mountcross.com
102 Camino Esplendido
Camarillo, California
93010-1717
Phone: 805-482-3847
Email: office@mountcross.com
Web: www.mountcross.com
Revised 022311